Couldn’t conduct a rural to a Big City Limits conversation

Thought my date would be interested about the April brandin’

Brandin’ seemed like a line to flirt with a diverse girl out for steak dinner

Told her we separated cows from the calves, but did she understand


Next I told her we penned up the calves in a big square corral

We roped ‘em by the hind feet and dragged ‘em to the brandin’ fire

She was not following along but singing to a song

Then I told her we had cut the ones with a desire to sire


There was no infatuation or response and it is big time branding time

She might as well insult the rest of the corrals that went to hell (fell over rotten)

She drove in the dagger of her Olds Cutless and supermarket double coupons

Did beef come home in the trunk of a worn out Olds Cutless bought on sale


How do you get in touch with this leather purse lip stick dynamite

You can’t joke about what you know and can’t talk about cowboy travails

A night my lady is urging me to drop memories of riding fences like a desperado

When you conversate outside the Big City Limits she can’t trail


Inside you let her be her and let her be Big City Limit

She can count her Go minutes and waste her time in long lines

She can have all the easy accessories at her hand and in comfort

Let her man tend to small lawn an itty bitty fence and crawling vines


She got the Powder River gate tonight on our date that was her Big City Limits fate

She won and she is dang sure done if she won’t brand and castrate she ain’t no fun

She can go buy her beef on sale perhaps them hooves ran across a local scale

The corrals and I have been on the mend and with a negative girl it just can’t be done.




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Comment by Todd Earl Van Dorn on April 1, 2016 at 10:30pm

I went out with a friend from the Big City tonight as friends and she warned me not to make any smart ass remarks to the people in the restaurant. I was telling her about branding and she is a pretty Mexican lady and she about fell asleep. I told her we learned it from the Spanish Vaquero’s. My cousin and I would rope and drag them to the fire then we would eat potato salad and sandwiches his mom fixed and then we’d go to my house and lay out in the sun and sun tan since we skipped school. It was only 70 degrees in Oregon. That was on the ranch, but we went to other brandings too. They want you to make conversation then they blow out the candles when you tell a cool story like branding. Maybe her karma will be salmonellae, there’s been a lot of karma going around lately I’ve herd. lol


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